Crying Back the Ocean

I've been thinking about this for way too long. With my 50th birthday coming up in November, I've decided to move from thinking and talking about my Trail of Tears Adventure, to logistical planning and implementation. 

There are four distinct routes of the Indian Removal along the Trail of Tears. I've decided to traverse these using various modes of transportation, with the last trek on foot, just as my ancestors traveled it. 

In addition to my need to get into shape physically for this extended adventure, I also decided to get my motorcycle endorsement, purchase a motorcycle, and do as much of the four routes as possible on a bike, and as many of those as I can solo. 

I obviously have a lot of work to do. 

~~~

If it hadn't occurred to me before, returning to my home stomping grounds in Southern Idaho for my 30 year High School reunion helped me understand ~ enough water has flowed under the bridge now for me to be happy.

I graduated from Minico High School in 1979. And then promptly high tailed it out of town. All that occurred after that is a story for another time.

I didn't attend either our 10th or 20th reunions. And until recently had no intention of attending the 30th. But something changed. I can't even pinpoint what it was. I just decided to go back.

I had offered to help the Reunion Organizing Committee find old classmates, post announcements on social networking sites, and later compile a book of pictures and alum contact information. I'm working on that project now. I'm so glad I did offer my help. Not because I was particularly successful at finding people, but because it gave me an opportunity to connect with former classmates, some of whom I probably never spoke a word to in school.

The involvement with the committee also most likely sealed my fate for actually following through and ATTENDING the reunion. I could feel my resistence as the date to get on the plane drew near. There just seemed to be too many other things going on. Fire season was coming. I wasn't packed. I...uh...needed to change the oil in my car. Whatever...I could tell my excuses were pretty weak.

I'm so glad I did get on that plane. It meant so much to me to look through the portal into my past and discover my memories had been a bit warped. It meant SO MUCH to me to be able to wrap my arms around friends I hadn't seen in over 30 years, to find my best friend in Grade School, my best friend in High School and the first boy I ever really loved. Now HOW can you beat that for a successful trip back to a place that always caused me to break into a nervous sweat before?

You just can't. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Costa Rica ~ Considering the Possibilities

My husband and I are considering the possibility of purchasing land in Costa Rica. I would have never thought of such a thing only a few short years ago. But now, after traveling more extensively - most recently to South America and Panama - it's become clear to me that there is so much out there in there world yet to experience.

In the process of researching Costa Rica and her regions, I've come across some great people - expats or expatriots - who have moved there from all over the world, including the U.S. It's enlightening to hear what they say about the process of moving there...and staying there. Particularly with children. And PARTICULARLY if Spanish is not your strong point (it's not yet for me.)

One of the intriguing people I've met via her website blog Mother Jungle is Susan, a single mother of two. Mother Jungle has just been recognized by GlobalPost.com as one of the best blog sites not only in Costa Rica, but the world. Why? Because Susan dishes out reality with a heart, not just a window.

The longest night of the year...

I just woke up and stumbled to my computer to prepare for the rest of my life. Today is a day of preparation. I believe that if something is truly important, it's worthy of preparation. Any journey, through either outside or inner landscape, will benefit from the effort.

That's how I view the Winter Solstice every year. It's both the shortest day and the longest night. It's the perfect time to pray FORWARD, to appreciate my blessings, lessons and challenges of the past that have made me stronger and, at times, raked me to my core.

So, the whole day is mine to prepare. Tonight and tomorrow Winter Solstice arrives. The fire is hot and crackling in the wood stove. My dog, Belle, is ready (as always) to lay quietly beside me in meditative support....

My first prayers for the morning...

Let Us Know Peace

Let us know peace.
For as long as the moon shall rise,
For as long as the rivers shall flow,
For as long as the sun will shine,
For as long as the grass shall grow,
Let us know peace.

O Great Spirit of our Ancestors, I raise my pipe to you, to your messengers the four winds, and to Mother Earth who provides for your children. Give us the wisdom to teach our children to love, to respect, and to be kind to each other so that they may grow with peace in mind. Let us learn to share all the good things that you provide for us on this Earth.
(Ancient Native American Prayers for the Solstice.)

~Julia's Wisdom ~

"A day at a time, a page at a time, we wipe clear our vision of the world. We see what obstacles impede us, what roads are open to us. We become more alert to the shortcuts, switchbacks, and dangers of the trail. In short, we become present to our lives, at once more alive in guiding them and more receptive to signposts that indicate alternate routes. We become explorers rather than mere tourists."...

"By moving my hand across the page, I move the hand of the universe across my life."

On the Road with my Girls...

I just returned from visiting my two oldest daughters, Anna Rose and Lacey. Both live in the Bay Area. I had an incredible time with both girls, but doing completely different things.

I treated Lacey to a professional productivity conference - Getting Things Done - at the Intercontinental Hotel. We then spent time touring around San Francisco and spent quality relaxation time at Kabuki Springs & Spa. I introduced her to a college acquaintance of mine from Humboldt State University. We shopped, ate insane amounts of incredible sushi at Sushi Rock, and Thai at Osha Thai and thoroughly enjoyed each other.

Anna Rose and her husband, Chris, are adopting a child from Ethiopia and so, I wanted to travel someplace special with Anna before the baby arrived. We decided to go to Cabo San Lucas on Baja. We'd originally discussed the Yucatan, but Anna suggested the Pacific side because of numerous hurricanes threatening the Eastern (Caribbean side) of Mexico. As it turned out Hurricane Norbert hit Baja the day after we left. Ah, well...

Anna and I stayed at an all inclusive resort - Melia Cabo Real. It was lovely. But, I discovered something disconcerting about myself... I'm horrible at relaxation and could only handle about 2 1/2 days of it. What a humbling experience. I also felt uneasy having so many people wait on me with such....hmmm...humble intensity. It also felt freaky getting up from a meal without paying a bill...so freakish, in fact, that I tended to over tip, which offset the freaky feeling and made me feel better.

I very much appreciated traveling with Anna in Mexico. But next time I go back I'll likely take a more independent traveler route.

So...You Want to be a Mermaid!

Since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a Mermaid. I never told anyone. I didn't HAVE to tell anyone about my dreams to make them vivid. That's sort of the thing with dreams...when you "tell" them there is the danger of losing the magic of it all.

So, I didn't tell anyone I wanted to be a Mermaid. Just like I never told anyone that I wanted to be a Jet Pilot, a Wilderness Explorer, a Merchant Marine, a Sailor, a Private Detective, a Medicine Woman/Tribal Cheif(tess). This would be a more powerful version of the Indian Princess many of my friends probably wanted to be. Nope. Never told anyone. And I've found that all of these things have woven their way into my life in one form or another.

A few months ago I found Weeki Wachee - the home of the Mermaids. At first I thought - "No way!" But, yessiree. While I wove aspects of Mermaid metaphorically into my life, these awesome women showed us metaphor only goes so far.

Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

I watched these ladies in action and it occured to me what a powerful message they send out into the world. Live your passion, even if it may not make sense to anyone around you.

Yea, Weeki Wachee can (and has) been discounted as old and kitchy. But there's something profoundly magical and powerful about thumbing your nose at "contemporary" and "politically palatable," and being sexy and frolicking (and getting a paycheck) while you're at it.

The Mermaids at Weeki Wachee send the message that your passions can materialize into a successful endeavor. And young girls can benefit from that message in today's harsh world as they are encouraged to fill roles and shoes of others simply because those roles and shoes happen to be vacant.

I don't think that's a good enough reason to live someone else's dream for you as your own, even if it seems more logical that the budding dream growing inside your own heart. Dreams need to be protected and nurtured until they have time to step into the light. They can be pretty unrecognizeable until they move beyond the fetal stage. But that's when they need to most protection.

So, to all of you girls who want to be a Mermaid, there REALLY IS a place for you!

Jiri - Blue Morpho Journals

This is my friend Jiri. I met him and many other incredible people at Blue Morpho in Iquitos, Peru during my travels there November 2007.

Many of my friends and family have asked me to describe my experience at Blue Morpho. We worked with Shamans in Ayahuasca ceremony. Each of us had different reasons for being there and undoubtedly we had very different experiences. What we did have in common was the Mesa within which we learned. The Mesa is - to the best of my ability to describe it - is a spiritual arena which is controlled and protected by the Shamans and Apprentices overseeing the ceremony.

Jiri shared the Mesa with me in Peru. He also has captured the experience very well in his journal, though I have no idea how he could even pick up a pen during some of those times.

So, I would like to thank Jiri for his thorough description of the Blue Morpho experience. I encourage anyone who is wondering what it is like to visit Blue Morpho and to navigate an Ayahuasa ceremony (and emerge on the other side) to visit Jiri's JOURNAL. He also took some beautiful PHOTOS. Jiri has multiple Blue Morpho image collections there. Explore them all!

Excellent work, Jiri.

Thank you, my friend...